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All in a year

It was on the 28th of February 2023, at exactly 14:30, that I got a message over my cell phone that would change the course of my life. I was standing next to my piano, where I was going to have to present a lesson in exactly 30 minutes. I instinctively "slithered" down in the nearest chair, my knees shivering and the pulse of my heart throbbing in my throat.

I have been at this place before - many times - over the last 20 years. But this time it was different. I was different. I was stronger. I knew that if I do not make a different decision today than all the other previous times, I will find myself again in this place - whether a month or years from now. But nothing is going to change unless I do not change. I hated that place. I hated that feeling. That time I knew I hated it enough to want the change.

Looking back over this past year, so much have changed. The memories of that afternoon is not so painful anymore. The insecurities and fear about all the changes that are still taking place on a daily basis, are less.

I have celebrated both my children's' and my own birthdays in a different way than ever before. Easter and Christmas was quiet and without all the crowds of people to entertain and food to prepare. There were many tears, some because of hurt, and others out of anger and frustration. There were many questions, mainly to myself. There was a deeper connection to my Maker and Saviour than ever before. A deeper dependency on His Wisdom and Guidance. There was quiet, peaceful days and nights, without the pressure to be something and someone that I was not. There were hours of reading and painting and writing and singing and playing piano - without any demands to stop and attend to other things.

Through His Grace this year, I also released my first EP with original songs (@Ek kies vandag). I had my launch as singer & songwriter as well as a subsequent concert, well supported and attended. I had my music playlisted on more than 12 Radio Stations nationwide. I launched a music studio where we teach vocal training, piano and guitar (@Madzboutmuzic). I expanded my arts and crafts business to now also teach painting to children and adults (@Madzcreations). I re-launched my baking and cooking business (@NothingFancy). I continued to use and promote #YoungLivingEssentialOils and are still enjoying the benefits of that (@Madzboutoils). Lastly, I started to write again after many years. (@Uit die oog van 'n inkommer) (@Memoirs from behind the facade)

Everything is not perfect. I still cry. I still worry about my children and their future. But I wake up every morning with such a freedom and excitement of knowing that I am safe and living out my Godly created purpose. My passions. I do not need anyone to tell me who I am and what I am able to do or not do. I only need to know who I am in Him. He has got me!!!

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